When my daughter was a toddler, she would say “I can’t know they names” instead of “I don’t know their names”. “I can’t know” has become one of our family phrases now. I’m sure all families who have had young children in their home have these quotes from children that become part of the family lexicon.
This phrase has become more than just a funny memory to us though. Often a situation will come up and my husband or I will say “We can’t know”. There is so much we can’t know in life. We can’t know if the decisions we are making are the right ones. We can’t know what kind of year we are going to have. We can’t know how things are going to go. I’ve started thinking about all the things we can’t know, and how there is nothing we can do about the things we can’t know. All we can do is live through it, try to make the right choices, hope for the best, and have faith that the universe will take care of us. If you’re a planner like me, it’s hard not to worry about things that are out of our control. Living a mindful life takes constant practice.
My daughter is starting at her new school today. I would be lying if I told you that I was not at all nervous about this. The truth is, I have a lot of anxiety about it. She was doing well and really happy at her school in Phoenix; it is a wonderful school. How will things go today and this year? What will happen next year? We can’t know. She might be at this school a year, she might be there less than a year. She might be there three years, she might be there until she graduates from high school.
But, we can be optimistic and hope for the best. We can (and have) tried to prepare for her first day by getting together with other families who will have children at this school, putting her in summer camp for a week at the school, and attending orientation and meet-the-teacher night. I’m trying to teach her to have an open mind, to live a life of gratitude, and to have a positive attitude. Change is hard, but I know that I am making the very best choice for her education that I can right now, with the information that I have. I can send her off to third grade confident that she will have a fun and successful year. I can put my trust in her and in her school.
I can have faith.
So, that’s what I am going to do.
And I’m going to miss her.